tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91751372012-02-16T05:15:40.787-08:00KHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06117672001286811734noreply@blogger.comBlogger2811100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-81295548344592575282010-12-13T04:16:00.000-08:002010-12-13T04:16:59.849-08:00

I took a long, unintended sabbatical from writing and blogging. Life, as it does, got much too far ahead of me. Funny, thing, though - as I think back, I have trouble remembering what went on that had me so busy. Raising, playing with, making a home for and loving my kids has been the most time-consuming and draining-yet-gratifying thing I have been doing lately. Rigby, my smart and charming

KHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06117672001286811734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-43667675538802594562009-08-16T21:24:00.000-07:002009-08-16T22:24:16.286-07:00

Recently, I got out of an abusive relationship. One designed by circumstance, by chance, perhaps by a naieve blindness. When we moved into our new home, we knew there was a young family living in the basement suite. This felt like a good thing, the daughter was about my daughter's age and from our brief talk, the couple seemed nice.A few weeks after moving in, during which it was necessary to

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-75843728888481555862009-05-26T20:14:00.000-07:002009-05-26T21:27:05.975-07:00

Every day, every single one of us makes a ton of mistakes. We speak out of turn, we cut a guy off, we forget to be gentle, we leave our travel mugs at home, we do any number of little things that we might wish we'd done differently.Some of us have an easier time of mistake making than others, I am one of the others. Small mistakes linger in my head, taunting me with their un-do-able-ness, I worry

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-20362948502305850992009-05-19T21:02:00.001-07:002009-05-19T22:05:20.468-07:00

I used to be so angry. I was like a bomb, ready to go off at any sign of life not fulfilling my innate sense of entitlement and when I went off - oh man, I can only imagine what it would have felt like to be on the other end.That was 10 years ago, since then I have quieted my anger with compassion and perspective. I still get riled up over things, but now they tend to be the things a person

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-81417577042484702122009-04-29T20:03:00.000-07:002009-04-29T21:55:50.155-07:00

In two and a half weeks, I am turning thirty. After some reflection I came to the realisation that I am not as calm about it as I outwardly project. My anxiety doesn't stem from the expected sources, I am happy with my body, happy with my family and really falling in love with many aspects of my life. My major anxiety comes from the memory that keeps popping up of my friend who killed himself

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-80774065414462387492008-12-26T13:15:00.000-08:002008-12-28T22:54:59.457-08:00

Figuring out how to post here via iPod.Chrismas albums for the grandparents. (One down, two to go)Laundry.Unpack.Blog post.Post sock monkey instructions.

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-32577260614375492132008-12-25T21:01:00.000-08:002008-12-25T21:58:07.975-08:00

On this night, in this place, I am grateful for so many things. Like so many things lately, our plans this Christmas were complicated by forces out of our control. Vancouver got a dumping of winter like none we had seen. Canadians to the east of us laugh when we're forced to show how ill-equipped we are to deal with weather the rest of the country calls a season, and we are so ill-prepared. When

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-90084330089250324672008-12-07T21:48:00.000-08:002008-12-07T21:49:55.652-08:00

Oh man, is there really anything left to say?I went through a bunch of my unfinished posts, there's some good stuff in there. Most of the stuff that made it up onto the blog consisted of proving that I am still alive and reasonably sane.My life's been like that, too - just seeing people enough that they know I'm still here. And boy am I here - I've gained a load of weight since July... plus I was

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-24996967274159915602008-11-23T00:35:00.000-08:002008-11-23T00:36:38.495-08:00

I am pretty psyched to see the end of 2008. It has been a thrilling, incredible year, but there is so much that I would like to put a bit of time ahead of. A chance to get some perspective.A long-standing project of mine has been to go through our old photographs, delete the crap and then back it all up. I finally made the decision to just get it done last weekend and today I finished. It was fun

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-73723553233547016442008-11-07T18:40:00.001-08:002008-11-07T19:33:48.513-08:00

I know I haven't been around much, my life has kept up its breakneck speed - throwing challenges and choices all over the path.

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-51697242720958932182008-09-28T23:09:00.000-07:002008-09-28T23:09:31.513-07:00

It isn't the first time, nor will it be the last that I have reminded myself that this parenting thing is hard. Really hard. It also isn't the first time, and I hope it isn't the last, that I remind myself that this parenting thing is wonderful.I spent the last week in Whistler, BC, with my mum, step-dad, husband and children. Our accommodations were ample and comfortable. We were close enough to

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-54903933232318809502008-09-18T23:18:00.000-07:002008-09-19T00:01:54.939-07:00

The news is depressing. Television, in general, is depressing. That's just how it is - life isn't all baskets of puppies.I've taken a lot of alone time, recently. I've been pretty focused on the going's on in the world and it has just occurred to me that I am missing the good stuff. I've been dismissing the puppies and wringing my hands over events that are worlds away. Sure, this shit effects

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-85621963658392954162008-09-15T19:28:00.000-07:002008-09-15T19:42:13.213-07:00

My doomsday worries have lifted only slightly - so far the LHC at CERN has not created the end of the universe, but I think most of us are reeling after today's financial crisis. On top of that I have friends displaced by Hurricane Ike, as well as folks who have lost power, and are facing home and garden damage.I don't want to alarm anyone, but I'm pretty certain that there is an economic

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-38230346255387725912008-09-12T11:05:00.000-07:002008-09-12T11:20:56.584-07:00

"You're a great cook when you're crazy."In response to a meal I threw together between bouts of languishing on the couch and trying to follow my erratic trains of thought. It consisted of pasta, veggies, two types of cheese and an egg. I think I put salad dressing in there too. I'll never re-create it, but boy was it delicious!"Surrender to the goat."Read yesterday in Mommy Mantras - it means

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-4335126617917159062008-09-10T20:01:00.001-07:002008-09-11T19:27:08.731-07:00

Meet Chet - he's a little bit country, a little bit rock and roll, and was finished this evening just in time for books and bed.During the last bedroom re-org, I stumbled upon a bag containing the Secret Government Sock Monkey Project (SGSM-P). Abandoned in 2006, SGSM-P remained classified and mere lore until late 2008. Speculation of a secret project of this type bounced about the internet, but

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-63326907961379840982008-09-10T01:10:00.000-07:002008-09-10T09:40:54.457-07:00

I was reading about Stephanie Nielson, writer of the nienie dialogues and recent victim of a private airplane crash. Her story brought me to her very lovely blog and introduced me to a woman in love with motherhood. It got me thinking about my own calling to motherhood.Getting pregnant was one of the most incredible and magical things that has ever happened to me. And now, here I am with a

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-5713880267683393352008-09-06T13:13:00.000-07:002008-09-06T14:26:34.606-07:00

I was going to write about a really cool music video we watched last night, but Andrew has left to do laundry and I haven't got a clue where to find it to show you. So, for now enjoy this: Music video made of paper. Svelte: 'Grind Your Bones' from Svelte on Vimeo.I feel dull, but I am starting to realise that it isn't true dullness. It is rather the dullness brought by the shock of

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-35962195122151174312008-09-02T17:22:00.000-07:002008-09-02T17:35:50.340-07:00

... the events of the past weeks, especially today, have served to show me that I need a life of my own.I have a new etsy store (sans the baggage) - when it has something in it I will share the link.I have sock monkeys to finish (all done but the stitching together and making faces), I have drawings aching to get out, scarves to sew, plus prints, cards and absolute miscellany that could go up.

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-23974397400464288412008-09-02T12:26:00.000-07:002008-09-02T13:04:47.502-07:00

Noodle at the Aquarium:I interviewed for a job today, a *real* job in an office and everything... an office I love, with people I like (and a couple I love), doing a job that is almost tailor-made for me... but, it would mean leaving my children in someone else's care, losing most of my freedom, and possibly working myself to overwhelm and then resenting my job and/or my kids.It also would mean a

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-75680053872555023912008-08-30T11:21:00.000-07:002008-08-30T12:04:15.597-07:00

It's been a long month since Sean died, I've faced things that I'd always seen off on the horizon, but thought I would have time to prepare for. I miss him terribly every single day, I miss our innocent peace here, and I miss the ease of the familiar.The dust has settled, we're fully integrated into the banalities of every day life - but I still feel like the world dropped me off and I am

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-4635195414512880392008-08-26T18:52:00.001-07:002008-08-26T18:52:08.592-07:00

I don't remember the last night I slept for more than a handful of hours. The usual culprits are at it, sore teeth, a cold, changing weather and garden-variety insomnia. It all add up to my being very, very tired. Sebastian's at a stage. A talking all the time/asking questions/interrupting/stubborn stage. I'd be lying if I said I was doing any more than hanging on by a wisp. But, that's the way

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-31075917461671774302008-08-23T04:02:00.000-07:002008-08-23T04:36:55.660-07:00

I can't get to sleep tonight, insomnia has me in her sweaty grip and as of 4am, I have lost hope of getting anything resembling a night's sleep.I am staring at the ass-end of a relatively innocent week here at casa del forsyth. I would even call it drama-free (save for some ugly zits I developed from either not washing my face that one time I wore makeup or face goo from my phone). We're still

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-38318341711398090312008-08-21T18:37:00.000-07:002008-08-21T19:06:55.406-07:00

I am trying to decide if a trip to the gym tonight is a good idea. I need to go out, regardless, because there's an important banking errand to be done, but the gym? My ass is exhausted - though a workout might lead to a nice sleep tonight - or to even more insomnia - if I stayed home I'd just waste my time then complain about wasting my time - if I go to the gym, I will obsess about using the

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-53860489057856268312008-08-19T13:01:00.000-07:002008-08-20T14:47:27.932-07:00

Today I met with my mind doctor. She listened wide-eyed as I detailed the events of the past month, asking lots of probing questions to which I had pretty mature and thoughtful, if optimistic, answers.I feel like I am back in the "getting well and moving on with life" bit of my wee mental illness. I have amazed myself with my strength, faith, understanding and resiliency. I am feeling mindful, I

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-68043160130462261682008-08-13T12:39:00.000-07:002008-08-13T12:42:30.262-07:00

She's not much to look at, but open her up and she's a wicked awesome little sewing centre. The green chair is on wheels and once it is out of the way, there is just enough room to open the whole thing up and sew while watching the world go by.

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-29049015106878514622008-08-12T21:04:00.000-07:002008-08-12T22:15:06.010-07:00

I am feeling the weight of the events of past weeks. To summarize without getting too personal, I have had occasion to learn a lot about the state of my marriage, my parenting "style", my early life and family of origin.There have been moments of great despair, hopelessness, resentment, anger, understanding and enlightenment. Things aren't "fixed" but they are "kinda ok." We'll need to keep going

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-6596024236791708182008-08-12T12:48:00.000-07:002008-08-12T12:51:40.045-07:00

We'll be picking this baby up tonight while my sister watches the kids. I am so excited I can taste it.

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-91248939719052824582008-08-07T20:06:00.000-07:002008-08-07T20:07:06.929-07:00

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-24875090226852394922008-08-04T21:51:00.001-07:002008-08-04T21:51:39.869-07:00

The veil of wretched sadness and insomnia has lifted to match the sunny weekend weather. I got things done, I baked, barbecued, cleaned (and cleaned-my house looks awesome), fell in love with a new TV series and got laid. I even feel occasionally optimistic and happy. The first time it hit I actually had to sit down. Someone close to me self-destructed and if I let myself, I could easily do it

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-56759251818236061482008-07-31T00:04:00.000-07:002008-07-31T00:31:11.571-07:00

Maybe I shouldn't be trying to write while simultaneously tired, buzzed and listening to the frantic squeals of my baby girl. Maybe, but I am going to try anyways.My dear friend, Sean, ended his life last week. In the days that followed his friends stumbled around in a daze, trying to make some sense of something so senseless. Andrew and I packed up the kids and drove to Calgary (12+ hours), then

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-57797466867373558032008-07-30T15:31:00.000-07:002008-07-30T15:34:03.289-07:00

I am feeling less than social or productive right now. I am just keeping my head above water and am trying to take it really easy.I might not post anything for a while, though I do keep trying, so who knows?

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-42852876592870580912008-07-26T17:13:00.000-07:002008-07-26T17:19:00.479-07:00

I've spent the day packing up my old friend's things. I am completely spent. His funeral is in less than an hour and I feel like I haven't done enough, though I know I have done all I could. I hope that my small effort will make things a little easier for his mother. I simply can not imagine her pain.Andrew is on his way with my black clothes and something greasy for dinner.I know I have a few

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-85920930806372179062008-07-23T15:04:00.000-07:002008-07-23T16:04:42.530-07:00

One of the most wonderful humans I have ever had the honour to know passed away. He was my husband's best friend, my muse, my shoulder to cry on, my knight in sparkly armour. He was a cheerleader and confidante, my son called him Uncle Sean and I always pictured him getting drunk at their weddings. He was full of life, love and talent. He could always make me laugh.We've been living apart for two

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-18593861050858743552008-07-16T14:24:00.000-07:002008-07-16T14:32:01.245-07:00

I did it myself, it needs some help at the back, but looks fucking dope! I love it. I began with scissors and then used the longest guard we had (#4) and buzzed away.Sebastian asked if it means I'm a boy now... we had a three-year-old's discussion about how hair does not determine gender.

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-39219800518136898052008-07-16T09:58:00.000-07:002008-07-16T10:09:52.621-07:00

On the advice of a trusted friend and my therapist, I went out yesterday and bought The Artist's Way, a pretty notebook and a nice pen. Last night I dove in and read all the introductions and the first week's module. This morning, I started my "morning pages" and wrote affirmations (and "blurbs" - the cynical mental reactions to my affirmations).The structure will push me along and the process

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-678255135722878952008-07-15T11:33:00.000-07:002008-07-15T12:05:14.588-07:00

Ahhhh, the glamorous life of a girl with mental illness.Recently, I have begun obsessing, again, about shaving my head. But then, there's Ms. Spears' famous head-shaving experience and there's a nagging feeling that, as far as it goes, this might just be my crazy talking. But then I think about the benefits of not having hair and, I got to tell you, I am nearly sold.First, I should say that my

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-240980707237594232008-07-06T10:54:00.000-07:002008-07-06T11:16:21.470-07:00

I awoke this morning, after not quite enough sleep, with Sebastian's face pressed close to mine. He was hungry and wanted to make himself PB&J. I got up from the couch where I'd spent the night (we're night-weaning) and got him the jar of jam and a small packet of peanut butter we'd squandered from one place or another. He only needed a little help getting things open, then he set about his

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-22639979062808239452008-07-06T01:35:00.000-07:002008-07-06T02:07:15.228-07:00

It is funny that most people describe things as spinning out of control, I think of it less as a spinny thing and more as a complete collapse thing. Everything falling apart, crumbling like old buildings in abandoned cities. Or flying. Sometimes it feels like flying - or more accurately, falling.This depression thing that lives inside me, the thing that tells me to stay in bed and to eat and to

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-35561965130971396112008-07-03T19:27:00.001-07:002008-07-04T08:12:15.654-07:00

I know my mind is a bit messed. I’ve been trying so hard to hold things together. Too hard, I imagine. If I had a friend who I talked to about this, I would imagine them telling me that I am being hard on myself. They’d be right, but the way they say it, it sounds like a bad thing. Like wanting to be a better human is a character flaw that I ought to purge at once.I disagree, I think I’ve been

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-61197806881319868202008-06-27T21:25:00.000-07:002008-06-27T22:01:44.223-07:00

I am not going to get into the pros and cons of timeouts. We've played both sides of the fence and now use them sparingly - for many of the same reasons cited in the article. Trying to make an upset child take a timeout is upsetting, and we couldn't reconcile that with our parenting ideals. So, we've been working a different angle with some real success. Especially when you define success not as

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-73871346556180131812008-06-27T20:45:00.000-07:002008-06-27T21:14:55.875-07:00

The road is life. - Jack Kerouac On The RoadI've picked this book up once again. As life roared on, I put it down and forgot about it until the other day. In a fit of frustrated tidying, I uncovered it and picked up where I'd left off.I have been really awful to myself lately. I won't go into details here, but when life starts kicking your ass in tiny ways, you know it is time to take stock and

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-70343331215324238212008-06-14T18:50:00.000-07:002008-06-14T21:51:00.386-07:00

Recently, I watched Law and Order..., on cable, complete with commercials. I was pretty smug that I recognized none of them, nor did they interest me much. One, however, did catch some corner of my attention. It was for cars or tires, methinks, and was a representation of a city as a Labrynth, with cars representing the marbles. The commercial, itself, didn't interest me - what did was the

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-47042385507738860942008-06-13T18:25:00.001-07:002008-06-13T18:53:09.748-07:00

Today, at 3pm, my husband and son climbed on board a ferry. Destination: Grandma and Grandpa's. Until 8pm on Sunday it's just me and Noodle... today, we throughly cleaned and washed the car, we hit Ikea for a return I'd been putting off, a glass to replace the broken one from our set, and to recycle a pile of batteries, then we stopped at Toys'R'Us for a birthday gift and some on-sale toys for

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-54405792464868662962008-06-11T20:57:00.000-07:002008-06-11T21:00:01.485-07:00

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-43247019081450163822008-06-11T13:09:00.001-07:002008-06-11T13:20:41.346-07:00

a few bits that made me smile today:*my fridge is clean, if a little empty*I can walk, with both kids, to the laundromat, get two loads of laundry done, hit the park and enjoy the experience*my son is at least as well-behaved as the average child*we can afford not to have our children in child-care - we can barely afford it, but the pay-off is worth it*I don't have a commute and my husband's is

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-89048092692186422122008-06-10T17:31:00.000-07:002008-06-10T17:38:21.958-07:00

Somewhat amazingly, I have just scored an hour in which I have only one child (who needs a diaper) and no chores. There are about a hundred things I could do, but I have narrowed it down to reading a book or doing some embroidery. Both will give me some of the calm I've been looking for and one will accomplish part of my goal to get all the things I have committed to send off in swaps finally

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-7363020593146577732008-06-09T15:21:00.000-07:002008-06-09T18:28:29.558-07:00

I had to look up the vid after writing about it in the last post.

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-83315954143288703352008-06-09T15:10:00.000-07:002008-06-09T15:17:05.256-07:00

I have been doing a lot of soul-searching. I am in the midst of an identity crisis, one that has ebbed and flowed throughout my life. Recently, I have found myself thinking I know who I am and what my story is - or at least, what I want the rest of the wide world to see, but as of this weekend, like a puff of smoke, all my earlier assuredness is gone.It has been frightening and freeing to watch

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-72417324544426218712008-06-06T12:06:00.000-07:002008-06-07T00:07:29.657-07:00

Man, life sucks sometimes. Like ferserious.I've been wondering, often, how I ended up here with no idea what I'm doing. I know a lot, there's no denying it. But how did I end up trying to explain death to my three year old? How did I end up wondering when it is appropriate to reveal in a friendship that I attend group therapy? How can I not just have "it" together?How am I supposed to navigate

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-85336988007681059442008-06-04T20:33:00.000-07:002008-06-04T21:04:41.988-07:00

Writing about going crazy while going crazy is difficult, because while a part of me wants to take you all along for the ride, that crazy, anxious part still wants to pretend that I'm actually supermom.Last month, at my shrink's, we talked about increasing my dosage. By that point I already knew that I was on the path to relapse, but convinced the good doctor to keep me on the same dosage a bit

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-5518277413109487292008-06-04T20:26:00.000-07:002008-06-04T20:33:31.547-07:00

I've been watching clips of the Hour with that swoony strombo and this one was really incredible."For some reason, I haven't totally self destructed yet. But it's still early."more

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-77798146590004459912008-06-02T09:17:00.000-07:002008-06-02T14:19:49.563-07:00

In order to stage an effective relapse, there are a few steps that will always help. First, get your whole family sick - seasonal allergies are a good start, but if you can add in a mystery cold you're golden. Next, be sure your youngest is teething, add in some vague parental stress, a milestone birthday, a spazzy laptop, a new and less comfy bed, and a long list of commitments desperately

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-13590307865802766532008-05-25T16:51:00.000-07:002008-05-26T17:01:22.547-07:00

this week is all show and no tell

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-8406173816090253092008-05-24T17:01:00.000-07:002008-05-26T17:03:37.694-07:00

This week's challenge: to keep track of promises and then keep them... more here.

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-51508609804486840552008-05-23T10:33:00.000-07:002008-05-23T13:47:47.612-07:00

Big project:Convert master bedroom into bedroom/studio space.* find new home for king-sized bed (if you live in Vancouver, we're asking $200 on CL)* hit a couple garage sales looking for: a big hamper, a work-table and more glass dishes (great score last week - photos will come)* find places to put all the stuff that lives under our current bed* fix and assemble futon that will be our "new" bed (

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-33178139583818146402008-05-23T10:08:00.000-07:002008-05-23T10:28:46.179-07:00

My son has not taken a bath in almost a week.Now, some of you may be cringing - wondering what kinds of filthy my child is brewing, and some of you may be nodding - secure in the knowledge that kids are alright if they miss a bath or three, but all of you must realise that a week is pushing it. It isn't for lack of trying, the past few nights we have almost, but not quite, made it into a bath. Is

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-71652671506107230862008-05-22T22:19:00.000-07:002008-05-23T10:33:49.410-07:00

- a very lovely 29th birthday and 4th wedding anniversary- working out with a good friend- that my issues are pretty manageable- Rigby's first tooth- nice days and a fenced yard- coffee, always coffee- new clothes that fit and look great

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-77287761380399521372008-05-21T20:26:00.000-07:002008-05-22T11:16:59.979-07:00

Recently, I told somebody close to me to "grow up." They'd been behaving in a way that I thought was pretty assy and after brewing a bit of resentment, I confronted them lovingly. Things since then have improved, with this person making a concentrated effort to be more responsible and accountable. I appreciate the effort even more than I show, so how come I don't feel any better??Could it be

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-76481403709375431712008-05-21T15:00:00.001-07:002008-05-21T15:29:49.201-07:00

A bunch of the blogs I frequent have daily topics - like "Menu Plan Monday" @ orgjunkie.com. I think that this is brilliant, anything to give me something interesting to talk about.So in that vein, I present:Meal Plan Monday - self-explanitoryGreen Tuesday - frugal greeningHump Day - a mixed bag including, money, fitness, organizing, parenting and my little rantsThankful Thursday - things I am

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-79403025484472865842008-05-21T13:49:00.000-07:002008-05-21T14:33:02.377-07:00

Celebrating the Annibirtary* long-weekend:Rigby, excited over a paper plate**. You will note she now sits w/out help, she also has a teeny tooth AND is more adorable than a basket of puppies in her wee smocked dress (a gift from afar). Sebastian, whose bright smile masks a most mischievous mind. He had a ball stealing the spotlight from the guests of honour. He was really sweet and polite on this

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-45622213287376381562008-05-15T19:23:00.000-07:002008-05-16T02:14:48.421-07:00

So, I've got a few days and nights here where I can take the time I want and need to get some things done. Last night I stayed up late working on my new budget spreadsheet and tonight's project - a return to meal planning!Today was a bit busy - an early morning haircut, a trip to the glasses store to pick up Andrew's hot new frames and get Boo's often-abused specs adjusted. We grabbed lunch there

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-87374046420573065912008-05-14T20:11:00.000-07:002008-05-14T20:17:52.987-07:00

So, with things going as nicely as they are, I have decided that it is time to get our lives back together (again). To that end, I have decided to come up with a new budget system, a debt-reduction plan and a savings plan. I have also decided to step back to a time when our meals and activities were pretty thoroughly planned.I both crave and resist organisation and routine, but can see now that

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-446435467681806512008-05-14T12:15:00.000-07:002008-05-14T12:27:59.038-07:00

So, things are looking up. I talked to my doctor yesterday and managed to convince her to let me try to fight my way through my impending relapse. She said to me, "Okay so, you want to do it the hard way?"Yes, I do. I need to know I have it in me to function when shit gets a little intense. I bought myself six weeks with the promise to really work at the CBT stuff and that I would call her or my

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-70517691818017173822008-05-13T07:55:00.000-07:002008-05-13T08:25:04.332-07:00

Hey me,Look, things suck right now and it is up to me to do something about it. I am sick of this, this thing I can't quite name - apathy, laziness, boredom, overwhelm, malaise, anxiety... whatever "it" is, I am sick of it. Being irrational and flaky 90% of the time flat out sucks, I don't have heaps of friends (remember the great friend purge of 2007?) and I like the ones I have and would love

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-17687946500433307682008-05-11T00:21:00.000-07:002008-05-11T01:13:53.733-07:00

Trapped in the mundane, I ask myself how I can possibly hope for things to change dramatically enough. Today I attempted to explain to my three-year-old why polycarbonate bottles are bad. It did not go as well as I may have hoped, but I think that's okay.It made me think, though, about being a parent. The awesome responsibility of it all - our necessary dedication to the well-being of these

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-35025683926199230732008-05-06T19:32:00.000-07:002008-05-07T13:15:10.712-07:00

My life's been running me through the ringer again. These weeks suck, especially in retrospect. Every mistake magnified, pushing aside all the great bits. At times like these I like to make two lists, a list of those things I am most grateful for and one of those things I wish to leave behind. the goodmy tummy is full of yummy, nutritous foodmy home is warm and drymy family is safeI've been

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-6065085773355441732008-05-02T17:42:00.000-07:002008-05-02T20:15:58.743-07:00

With Rigby's first visit to the doctor came that now-important question of immunization. The waiting room was littered with pro-vaccine propaganda, but the doctor herself was helpful and open to the idea of a delayed schedule. It was during that discussion I realised I did not know nearly as much as I should about the issues. There are a lot of issues to consider.Coincidentally, earlier this week

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-89790294835088143892008-05-02T14:20:00.000-07:002008-05-02T14:48:59.923-07:00

It has been quite the day here - in the past six hours, Sebastian has:- pilfered chocolate- unwrapped four sticks of butter- eaten about a tablespoon of said butter- had two complete meltdowns*- painted his left eye with bright red nail polishThe last event prompted our very first call to poison control (very helpful) and no long-term damage is expected. It also required the cleaning of the

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-90359271018657714952008-05-01T14:16:00.000-07:002008-05-01T15:16:36.613-07:00

There's a whole lot going on here at casa del forsyth, including the formulation of a business plan based on an idea thought up yesterday on the loo, the ever-required planning and organizing that go along with running of a home, swap projects to start, finish and mail, a zine to put together, an embroidery project that I am doing along with another craft dabbler, a bagel recipe to try, and today

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-72612465180965157582008-04-27T23:12:00.001-07:002008-04-27T23:25:03.771-07:00

It was never your intentionto leave me feeling like I could not beall that I could beYou tried to egg me onto show me the greatnessyou saw in meI know you have alwaysthought I could be moreYou were frightenedthat I might end upjust like you (would that be so bad?)You feel you failed meby making the mistakesthat most folks doYour only failure wasto dismiss all I amI'm saying goodbyeto all I'm notI

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-52448947166099656992008-04-27T14:18:00.000-07:002008-04-27T22:21:28.826-07:00

It has been quite the lovely weekend here, all our chores are done, food for dinner is simmering on the stove and I got to spend a luxurious, if often interrupted, 11 hours in bed last night. Currently, three of the four inhabitants of my home are napping. The radio is on low, just enough to give the occasional hint of a song under the peaceful sounds of light rain. The weather has been pretty

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-13971897577349946692008-04-25T14:22:00.000-07:002008-04-25T19:21:45.554-07:00

I think I had imagined that once my depression was "under control" I could just go back to life all la-di-da and have things roll the way I imagine they should. I didn't imagine it would be this long uphill battle with lots of sharp, pointy rocks. No, I thought it would be more like a pristine lake on which I would glide in a shiny canoe. I have to give myself props for making it through this

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-67867909955819759872008-04-24T18:32:00.000-07:002008-04-24T22:10:16.004-07:00

Both kids are asleep, Andrew is off at some work dinner, the music is playing, I am showered and fed, and a long list of things to do.Here's to my new favourite grown-up drink (Kaluha and So Nice Vanilla Chai Soy Milk) and a couple of hours dedicated to knocking off some chores.- tidy shoes and hats- clean kitchen- clean bathroom- file papers- clear piles- empty stroller- clean fridge- vacuum

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-85216308373993213192008-04-23T19:39:00.000-07:002008-05-02T20:20:29.886-07:00

Yup - I am having a bit of a crisis as the final year of my 20s flies towards me. Oh, the things I thought I would have seen and done by now... but time and circumstance (and let's face it, laziness) have left that list pretty much undone.Not to be deterred, I have already begun my "Things to do Before I'm 40" list (well, I've started thinking about it), but I still have a nagging feeling that

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-29127283013643763542008-04-22T11:56:00.000-07:002008-05-02T20:21:39.783-07:00

I am going to be on local TV this Friday morning as part of a segment on babywearing. Who am I?

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-71460169029987999872008-04-17T21:41:00.000-07:002008-04-23T13:24:40.018-07:00

I've been deeply reminiscent of late. It could be that I'm about to turn 29 or it could be that I've been watching TV and listening to music from "back in the day," but I feel like I am gaining some perspective on how far I've come in 10+ years.As the fog of depression lifts, I am starting to feel intense pride in my life. Far from being perfect, I am instead a normal intelligent, ambitious woman

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-26762811148654649612008-04-16T12:56:00.000-07:002008-04-23T13:25:17.243-07:00

So, my line of thinking runs like so: if I plan enough, everything will roll smoothly.Plan. Enough.I plan and plan and plan. I arrange systems. I think and dream and organise so much.Yet, things do not get done.

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-64277747810469400182008-04-14T21:17:00.000-07:002008-04-14T21:24:37.419-07:00

Please don't think that because I'm never around that I have forgotten about you. I've been working on a few things, we'll see what comes about.I have not been writing and that's okay. But I love it and miss it. I'm almost ready.(postsecret - I want to believe someone wrote this about me, I want to remember to say it to my kids.)

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-33415641398751188012008-04-11T16:50:00.001-07:002008-04-11T16:50:53.601-07:00

I put down $200 on a refurbished bike from OCB and bought a second-hand MEC bike trailer for the kids. I'll pay the balance on the bike next Friday, and pick up helmets, locks, bells, etc. The guy who sold me the bike did all the work himself, he was so proud of this old Norco that is pretty pimp. I am excited because I can learn all about my bike and do the work myself, when it needs it. The

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-39035190873892877702008-04-09T22:52:00.000-07:002008-04-09T22:52:52.319-07:00

It has been a wacky day. We've had a string of these, some leaving us reeling, some leaving us exhausted, some leaving us completely satisfied and some accomplishing all three. These are the days we'll cherish. Today, more than most, strikes me as the type of day we'll look back on when we're wrinkly.This morning began slowly. My happy daughter and I stayed in bed for hours, sleeping and

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-37138014712537426222008-04-02T09:05:00.000-07:002008-04-02T09:22:40.227-07:00

I've been having a shitty week. Actually, I've been having a shitty couple of weeks.We've been sick on and off for too long. I am not getting the time I need to catch up and what time I do get I've been spending mindlessly wandering online or curled up in bed watching Buffy.Last week, we celebrated Sebastian's third birthday with a small gathering of family and adult friends at my dad's place. It

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-90083434532525317312008-03-26T14:04:00.000-07:002008-03-26T14:29:54.530-07:00

If anyone still doubts that I have a parenting book problem, I present my current collection of library books.non-parenting books:parenting books:Supernanny is going back. It sounds good on paper and we even tried a few of her "tricks", but there are much better books (my current favourite being the one directly above Supernanny). I am attending a parenting class through my therapy group and some

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-6543653395006862782008-03-25T21:49:00.001-07:002008-03-25T21:49:27.912-07:00

You ever get to that place where you can see how seriously you've been taking yourself? Do you get to that place and laugh? I haven't been laughing much, not out loud, anyhow. Sure, the constant and amusing banter my mind maintains* has still made me smile and given me comfort, but nothing's made my belly ache in a while. Life's been constant and inconsistent - a life-sized roller-coaster,

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-71746872924305219592008-03-24T15:08:00.001-07:002008-03-24T15:24:21.900-07:00

Of all the things I should be doing right now, sitting on my ass putzing around the internet is not one. I'm feeling absolutely drained after a badly thought out trip to Science World this morning. We chose to take the bus, rather than drive so we would get some fresh air, a little perspective, and some exercise. We had a good time, but stayed too long (in the hopes of meeting up with a mom who

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-78950653741464542352008-03-23T20:37:00.000-07:002008-03-24T00:55:50.955-07:00

This weekend, while listening to the CBC, I heard a radio clip from way back in the day. The clip was from a show for women that talked about things such as entertaining with a little history thrown in. This clip was from an easter-time show and she was explaining the history of the Easter Bonnet. The way I remember it, it had to do with starting spring off fresh, wearing new clothes. What really

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-56023820674684100332008-03-19T13:20:00.000-07:002008-03-19T13:29:20.258-07:00

So, after a long week of steady progress, I am feeling slammed today. Luckily, things with Sebastian are still going well and so it is just a matter of really monitoring my own reactions to things and remembering to take those vitally important breaths before I go and do anything I'll regret.Mid-month tends to be stressful for me, bills are due and suddenly it feels like the month is gone. Top

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-1880615642743739102008-03-18T12:27:00.000-07:002008-03-18T12:43:24.268-07:00

Quiet time. An hour or so, every afternoon, where I can clean, cook, bake, read, shower and relax. This window is something I fought so hard for, my son and I pitting our massive wills against one another. He, fighting for his right to decide whether or not he still needs a nap; me, fighting for my very necessary right to a break. It literally "just clicked" one day. We were engaged in our usual

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-89553064880460127742008-03-14T13:51:00.000-07:002008-03-14T14:04:30.569-07:00

"20x2 is an ongoing project that exists to showcase the creativity that lurks in each of us. Writers, musicians, filmmakers, web geeks and other bon vivants are asked to take two minutes each to answer the question of the day. The results can be as varied as the emotions and reactions they evoke."This is one of the answers to the question "What's the Difference": 20 x 2

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-86541719742928349752008-03-09T13:16:00.000-07:002008-03-12T01:03:10.039-07:00

This mothering thing is hard. One minutes you think you've got it and then something happens and the rules of the game change.I, for my part, have been hard at work on myself. I have learned so much in this past short while, my son and daughter are excellent teachers.I apologise for my recent internet absence, I don't know when or if I will return to "blogging" nor do I know what it will look

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-71037744592379728762008-02-20T13:55:00.001-08:002008-02-20T14:27:25.445-08:00

Things have been pretty freaking awesome around here lately. I have a buncha stuff to do, heaps, in fact. Important things like making sure we can pay our car insurance (this may be a problem) and making sure our kids have medical coverage. I am slightly annoyed because I a) didn't think the insurance thing would be an issue because I thought the government knew we had two kids now and was giving

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-78476942591868470252008-02-18T15:27:00.000-08:002008-02-18T15:34:36.236-08:00

Morning poem #1 by the beautiful and talented Amanda of this always opens to the story within and prettyfnmess.

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-14980352801722249692008-02-18T13:19:00.000-08:002008-02-18T13:27:09.168-08:00

The sun is shining, the crows are chattering, my children are resting, but not sleeping, and I have just sat down for the third time today.Time one, I poured my coffee, made my breakfast, sat down and found myself scarfing my granola and banana and running off to tend to a screaming Miss R.The second time I sat was for lunch, noodles and "asian" sauce from a packet, helped by the addition of

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-52984799720755623812008-02-15T18:41:00.000-08:002008-02-15T18:43:38.880-08:00

She just rolled over (the first time I've witnessed it, but it has happened in my absence once before) and let out the biggest, burliest burp. Followed by a series of farts.I love babies!!

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-57683542493350318242008-02-15T14:12:00.000-08:002008-02-15T18:22:23.302-08:00

they just seem a little weird.What's been keeping me going this week:- the soundtrack to Juno- Paul Simon- Scrubs, Seasons 1&2 (again)- kids who nap at the same time (not happening today, which is why I am hiding in my room thinking of things to be grateful for)- Cheap Trick running through my head- other people's blogs, since I've been too lazy to update my own- spending the money that was

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-35590073258412977862008-02-15T14:08:00.000-08:002008-02-15T14:12:29.744-08:00

small boy asks sleepily, "What are you doing Mama?""Writing," I reply."But why, Mama?""Because that's what Mama does, baby, Mama writes.""Oh, I get it," the precocious little guy says, though his tone tells me he isn't quite sure.Is there a difference between merely wanting to be a writer and actually being one? Do I need readers to be a writer?Maybe I need a thesaurus.

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-73961491330754872692008-02-07T19:56:00.000-08:002008-03-10T21:38:42.275-07:00

Ugh.Really.What a week. So much is going on, my mind has been racing, my actions have not been mindful, I've been operating on adreneline, anxiety and caffiene.Today I realised I'd burnt out. I called my doctor and left her a message stating in my disconnected way that I think I have fallen backwards. I don't think, I know. I was trying so hard to maintain the high of the last while, where I was

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-91597187011329655022008-02-07T12:28:00.000-08:002008-02-07T12:30:52.997-08:00

peanut sauce left over from last nights dinner (dipping tofu) + colourful corkscrew macaroni = an awesome dairy-free mac and cheese substitute!

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-47845965299308628002008-02-07T09:19:00.001-08:002008-02-07T09:57:50.175-08:00

I've found a new way to hibernate and lock myself away from the rest of the world. The great part is I had even managed to convince myself that I was really getting better. Not getting better, that I was better. Whatever that means.I have filled my plate so full I can barely carry it. And I convince myself that so little of it is for me because I love serving my family so very much. I put myself

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-88766498406655345562008-02-06T20:03:00.001-08:002008-02-06T20:46:26.183-08:00

There is so much I want to write - so many things I want to talk about. My life is still a mess, a pretty mess, but a mess. The world is still falling to peices right before our eyes. I've been cooking some great, healthy, cheap food. Parenting is still tough.But when I sit down my mind goes blank.Rather, it becomes a wall of white noise, so many thoughts screaming out at once, picking just one

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9175137.post-2313160027146888282008-02-06T20:03:00.000-08:002008-03-10T21:39:30.719-07:00

There is so much I want to write - so many things I want to talk about. My life is still a mess, a pretty mess, but a mess. The world is still falling to peices right before our eyes. I've been cooking some great, healthy, cheap food. Parenting is still tough.But when I sit down my mind goes blank.Rather, it becomes a wall of white noise, so many thoughts screaming out at once, picking just one

Kate Harrisnoreply@blogger.com0