What an incredible year. I look back on it and my little complete family and wonder a little how so much drama could have possibly left me so whole.
Last year at this time I had grand plans - I was going to go back to school, run a playgroup, write, have an etsy store, lose weight, make friends, eat healthy, save money, be a better person.
Turns out I didn't go back to school, my pregnancy a convenient excuse to put my academic future on hold for a while longer; I briefly ran a playgroup, but it was a pain in the ass, really; I wrote - this little blog is all the writing I did, but for someone who only recently discovered a love of writing, it ain't so bad; my etsy store still stands empty and that's okay - one day I will think of something clever to put in there, but for now I am happy to let my little shop rot; I did lose weight, but I also gained weight and I am ending the year at nearly the exact same size I began it; I did make friends and I connected with old friends (it was the year of facebook, after all), I also lost friends - some with a great bang, some faded away and one left on a jet-plane, I miss every one of them.
Eat healthy, save money and be a better person are sort of bullshit resolutions. We all make them, but most years they don't really mean anything other than "I want to make better choices." I think that if I were to tally up my good choices and my bad ones, the good would come out on top. Every year since I left my mother's home I have eaten a bit healthier*, this past year no exception. I buy organic, unprocessed foods, we eat mostly local and vegetarian fare BUT we also have the occasional fast-food meal, or pizza or greasy chinese. Next year I plan to continue that trend towards more responsible eating. Saving money is a hard one for us, but this year we were more responsible with our money and our budget, next year we will keep trying and, with luck, we will begin to see the end of our debts (this year we did see the end of calls from angry creditors - a start!).
As far as being a better person... I am. I am better at being me at the end of 2007 than I was at the beginning. Hopefully I will be even better next year.
I am happy to see this last complicated year pass - but I am not going to delude myself into thinking 2008 will be a great year. The world is big and a little scary, I don't know what will happen, so I will do what I can right here at home. I will keep working to raise responsible kids, I will keep working to reduce my impact on the environment, I will support local farmers and local businesses, I will give what I can and I will take only what I need, I will love with compassion, I will think a little less and I will do a lot more.
*my mom is a great cook and always served healthy meals. It was after I left that I started really gorging on crap food.