Tuesday, September 2

if nothing else...

... the events of the past weeks, especially today, have served to show me that I need a life of my own.

I have a new etsy store (sans the baggage) - when it has something in it I will share the link.

I have sock monkeys to finish (all done but the stitching together and making faces), I have drawings aching to get out, scarves to sew, plus prints, cards and absolute miscellany that could go up. With luck I will make a little money to help the family and have a sense of accomplishing something.

With our lives in what feels like constant turmoil, I can't see leaving my SAHM gig... though days like today leave me wondering if I am equipped to handle the pressures of marriage and family. My gut chants a chorus of "cut and run!" With the backup singers quietly humming something that sounds like "you deserve better."

I am seething with anger and resentment towards my husband. I won't go into gory details, but we are having some issues around trust and what being honest really means... I do not believe he has been unfaithful, but he has made some errors in judgment recently and it seems like each time I think it is all over and we can work on getting better, something new pops up and dumps a pound of salt into my throbbing wounds.

And when all I feel like doing is curling up and crying, my children (who I love and cherish, etc...) are in my face with their needs.

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