Look, things suck right now and it is up to me to do something about it. I am sick of this, this thing I can't quite name - apathy, laziness, boredom, overwhelm, malaise, anxiety... whatever "it" is, I am sick of it. Being irrational and flaky 90% of the time flat out sucks, I don't have heaps of friends (remember the great friend purge of 2007?) and I like the ones I have and would love to keep them around awhile. At least long enough to get to know them a bit better - maybe long enough to swap babysitting? A three-martini playdate?
This whole smoking thing sucks too. Anything I can do about that? Quit perhaps?? Oh, and stop letting my mind wander so much - too many useful details are being lost through attrition.
So what do I need from myself? Well, a little self-control would be a good start, occasionally resist the urge to act on my impulses and I'd be grateful. Also - if I could simply get my gear together enough to negotiate my days with ease, nothing overly ambitious - a bag packed, lunch planned and an activity in mind - that would be a step in the right direction.
I've been doing a lot of good work lately, the differences are quite evident and I say with confidence that the flakiness of spring will pass. There is much happening and I've kept my wits about me for as long as I think I possibly could have. Good job, Kate!
So give me a break, everything is still in there, make it through this one short week and, with luck, by my birthday (Sunday), I'll feel completely differently about things.