Friday, November 23

ppa, ppd, ppocd and pppaxil

About time I updated, huh?

First I want to thank all of you for your kind words and encouragement. I love you all.

This has to be quick - I started this post many hours ago and it is now creeping up on 11 and I need me some sleep.

Life has been hectic this week and hopefully I won't miss anything:

~ We had a nice weekend, last weekend. Our amazing friends Brian and Shannon watched Boo at their place Friday and Saturday nights - we used the time to relax, do a little shopping, not cook, laze about the house, shop some more, watch movies, talk, cuddle and just chill.

~ There were many, many, many phone calls made and taken - I am so thankful to Big A for taking care of all of that (I still don't really feel like talking to anyone or answering the phone - but am working on it). Food was dropped off, arrangements were made to have my mom stay with us indefinitely, boxes of tissues were used up, disposable diapers were purchased and at the end of it all we picked up our son (whom we missed terribly) and drove up towards Whistler in search of snow (and a nap).

~ Monday morning we all got up and out of bed early, Andrew helped get us out the door and on our way to the coffee shop where an hour and a half later we would be meeting my friend Heather who was on katy-sitting-duty. Luckily I love Heather and relish any excuse to drag her away from her busy life, after spilling two coffees and a steamed milk we walked back to our house where we all sat around and talked and played until shortly before 1:00. Heather needed to run off to see a client, but Andrew was home moments later. Then, just before dinnertime, my mom swooped in to take care of us.

~ Tuesday we had Sebastian's eye appointment. The doctor confirmed what we thought and we left with a prescription for glasses and instructions on eye-patching. We picked up the prescribed patches, but came up empty-handed in the glasses department. We were pretty certain Lenscrafters would give us the best deal, but the one we went to (Metrotown) had a rather pitiful selection of tiny frames. The guy helping us could have been less helpful - but it did strike me that he couldn't give a shit if we found glasses. This led to a much-too-long search for frames that ended abruptly when we, as a group, decided we could not take another moment of it. On our way out of the mall we stopped at please mum, where my mum bought her grandkids some holiday clothes, including a plush red bath robe for her grand-son that, except for the trio of cartoon animal appliques on the back, makes him look like a miniature Hugh Hefner.

~ Wednesday morning we tracked down a great set of frames at a different Lenscrafters and then rushed home to meet Andrew for my appointment. It went well, very well, the Doctor didn't necessarily tell me anything I wasn't expecting to hear. Though she did give me the impression I am being even more unrealistic than I thought and thinks that with the right combination of cognitive behaviour therapy and drugs - I will be a surprising new woman. She also, thankfully, is not under the impression that I pose a threat to myself or my children. This is excellent news to all of us. My mom needs to get back to work asap and my husband and I can't really afford for him to take time off (though we will make it work if it ever comes to that). With my mom helping out I have been able to see things more clearly than I was before. I can now see how important time for me is (and doing laundry while ignoring my screaming nearly-three year-old doesn't count any more). I am looking into some options, we are adjusting our diet and exercise, making (easy) weekly activity plans, and asking for help. Nothing is going to happen over night, and some days are bound to be hella-tough, but I am going to make it through and be alright!! Better than alright - I am going to go back to being "me"!!! She doesn't think I am depressed, per se, but instead that I am suffering anxiety with a touch of OCD.

There is more, including photos of my little nerd and tales from patch-dom, but for now I am staring at the screen without any actual focus and can think of nothing more lovely than laying my head on my pillow and closing my eyes.

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