baby steps

I've been going on and on about how miserable I have been feeling and I wanted to share (as well as record for posterity) our tiny successes today.

This morning we slept in a little, found out the library we wanted to go to didn't open until noon and quickly came up with an alternative. S helped me make lunch (he threw the lunch bag on the floor and then ate a piece of cheese, all after sticking our little ice-pack down his pants).

We went to this thing called the play palace that has bouncy castles and ride on toys and a toddler "pit" with a house and a kitchen and padded floors. It cost us less than a fancy coffee ($3.65) and was only a 15 minute drive away. Sebastian played well with the hoards of other kids with minimal intervention on my part (I was alternating between hovering and engaging for all but the 15 minutes it took me to down the coffee I had brought from home). We took a lunch break when he started getting "the crazy" and happily moseyed back in for a 15 minute wrap up. He was all about leaving - we played the "what are you missing?" game, but couldn't resist a mad dash into the arena while I tied my shoes. Thankfully as I dragged him out of there he accepted my explanation that shoes were not allowed and so that was why he could not stay and play any more.

you know, for kids:


We were then able to drop off our overdue movie rentals *and* hit the library right at noon to pick up most of my long list of toddler re-programming books. We also grabbed a few board books, two dvds and 2 cds for S while he munched a clandestine snack and drank his pre-nap milk. In the five minute drive between the library and our house he faded fast.

Arriving home I decided to forgo emptying the car and just grabbed my wallet, keys and the boy. We came inside, he politely requested a diaper change and I took the opportunity to also change him into his PJs. He wasn't exactly happy, knowing that the change of clothes meant he was doomed to nap, but I stayed wonderfully calm and distracted him with three books of increasing sleepiness (10 little ladybugs, happy babies and g'night moon). We rocked for what seemed like forever - my poor back - and both times he thrust himself away from me I calmly held him tight and told him I didn't want him to fall. We rocked until he was calm enough to lie down without getting excited again, read g'night moon one last time and went to sleep. All told it took us only 30 minutes.

I figure I should be able to get a solid two hour nap out of him, giving me time to write this entry, get the bags out of the car, make a snack, plan dinner and maybe even start reading one of the books I brought home (though I won't hold my breath).

Thanks to the words and support of many friends, both on and off-line, I am feeling much clearer and calmer today. I just wanted to say thanks!